Living the Food Allergic Life

Two things happened in the last two days that reminded me that I am a food allergic person. Don't get me wrong, it isn't like I forget that I have food allergies! It's just after dealing with them for a lifetime, my coping skills are pretty good. Yet there are times when I am reminded that my food allergies make me, um, different.

Last night I went to get ice cream with a friend. Fun right? Well it should have been. I'd eaten at this little ice cream shop several times. Each time they were good about changing the scoop and double-checking ingredient lists for me. Not last night. Nope.

I walked in with the allergen list I'd printed from their website. Since I have multiple food allergies, printing the list is just easier. I'd only gotten my allergy spiel halfway out of my mouth when the woman working the counter said, "How bad are your allergies?" When I told her that they were severe, she said, "Well, then we'd prefer it if you didn't eat here."



The other folks standing in line suddenly started looking at the ground or talking to each other. I could tell they were embarrassed for me. At this point, I wasn't going to let it go. I said, "I've eaten here before. You've changed the scoops and---"

"I know, hun." came the reply. "But I'd just feel better if you didn't eat anything." Ack! It is hard to argue with that because, really, I wasn't going to risk it. Who would? If someone tells me that something might not be safe, I am not the type to say, "Hey! Anaphylactic shock is fun! Let's see if this food triggers it."

My friend had already ordered her ice cream and paid. So I sat there while she ate, the whole time saying, "Oh! Don't worry about it." The truth is, it was annoying and more than that, it was disappointing. When a place that has served you safely in the past suddenly changes, it is another loss. Another disappointment. With food allergies there are so few places that I can eat at safely. When another one gets crossed off  my "safe" list, I feel it. I won't lie. (Plus, I'd really wanted a bowl of chocolate chip ice cream.)

*

This morning an e-mail showed up in my in-box. A community group is having a summer camp. Like all community groups, they need supplies from, well, the community.  Let me show the list to you:

                        - Pringle's Baked Wheat Stix
                        - square pretzels
                        -M&Ms
                        - Honey Nut Cheerios
                        - miniature marshmallows
                        - bite-sized blue corn chips
                        - blue Jell-o mix
                        - whipped topping
                        - vanilla wafers
                        - chocolate graham cracker crumbs
                        - cherry pie filling (extra fruit).

Did you catch that? I bet you did! All those allergens! When I see this list I see: wheat, nuts, dairy, eggs, etc. etc.

Now I need to be honest here. I don't think that all allergens should be eliminated  from gatherings. That just isn't realistic. However, it is 2010. In 1985 when I was going to camp, I would have expected something like this. But in 2010? It disappoints me.

Why? Well camp should be *fun*. If you are a little food allergic kid, having a snack or food-based craft that you can't participate in sets you apart from the community. And that is decidedly un-fun. Trust me on this. I was that kid.

My question to the person who put this together would be: Why these foods? Is it possible that a non-food craft could replace this? Today's kids aren't just struggling with food allergies; there is an obesity crisis  in this country that is heartbreaking. 

This is what I have done all my life. I've always had to be the one voice saying, "Hey, I know that you thought you planned something super-fun. However, did you think about what it would be like to be excluded from the activity because of the food?" Sadly, I've had people say, "Yeah I thought about it and the food allergic kids should just stay home." You want to talk about heartbreaking? That attitude is heartbreaking. But it won't stop me from asking questions-- from trying to spread awareness.

See I think that non-food-allergic people forget that we didn't choose this. We aren't attempting to make their lives, their crafts, their summer camp less fun. I imagine to them it might feel that way. Because, perhaps, there will be "only" one or two kids that can't participate. But to those kids, oh my goodness, it could be the world.

I still remember how I was asked to leave the Girl Scouts group because of my allergies or how my school made me stay home during the week long eight-grade field trip. To food allergic people, there are lots of little hurts. (See my ice cream story above.) But when you combine a group activity with food, like at summer camp, those little hurts can become really tender spots. I'd like to think that planners would eliminate as many potential allergy situations as they can. To be honest, the planners and the non-food allergic kids might not remember this camp. Yet for the kid who is excluded? It might stay with her forever. And if you had the chance to change that, to make an event inclusive, why wouldn't you take it? It is one of those rare times in life where everyone wins.